A couple of years ago, I wrote a football/soccer-STARDOM mash-up article exploring which English Premier League team would be best suited to each STARDOM roster member (which can be found HERE). As a continuation of that, this article hopes to consider and propose a theoretical soccer Starting XI made up of STARDOM wrestlers.
For this potential eleven, I’ve gone with a classic and attacking 4-3-3 formation because, as we have seen in many a STARDOM press conference, they love to go on the attack! Also, it is an all-Japanese squad meaning no overseas talent were included.
Goalkeeper: HANAKO
Between the sticks, you want a number 1 who is physically tall and very vocal to help organize a defense. Therefore, the ideal choice for this key position is STARDOM’s tallest wrestler, HANAKO from EXV. She stands at a lofty 181cm height and has a background in volleyball which should result in excellent hand-eye coordination. She also loves to shout loudly before her matches meaning the “Wonder Tower” could be the right person to organize a defensive line. Her inexperience would potentially lead to some mistakes and draw ire from the supporters. Nonetheless, the faith the management has in her would hopefully allow HANAKO to fulfill that potential shown earlier in her career. Paris St. Germain’s Italian keeper Gianluigi Donnarumma would be a good equivalent.
Central Defense: Ami Sohrei & Lady C
For a centre-back partnership, you want two big and imposing players with great chemistry. So, where else to look than the “Reiwa Towers” and God’s Eye teammates, Lady C and Ami Sohrei.
With the nickname “The Human Tower”, Lady C would be perfect as the no-nonsense central defender. She would clear away any balls that strayed into the penalty area via her trademark big boot. Her height would also be hugely advantageous in any aerial battles. Additionally, her teaching background would bring needed leadership and guidance for a potential defensive line. C would be your quintessential British-style centre-back, who can lapse in concentration at times. Someone like Manchester United’s Harry Maguire would be an apt comparison.
Besides Lady C, “The Gods’ Chosen Big Girl” would be the more technical of the pair. Ami Sohrei could use her strength and pace to calmly obtain ball possession in challenges and pass it away from danger. She would hark back to her initial “bodyguard” role to protect the goal. Ami could be STARDOM’s answer to Virgil van Dijk, who plays for Liverpool and the Netherlands.
Left Back: AZM
The highly experienced yet youthful AZM would slot into the left-hand wingback role expertly. Her pace, timing, quickness, and perfect counters would be positive attributes for a position which has evolved to become a crucial part of modern attacking tactics. Someone who matches AZM for their experience despite their young age would be FC Bayern’s Canadian wingback Alphonso Davies. AZM has the record for the most successful defenses for the High Speed title. Naturally having someone so experienced in that regard, she would be a key component in the defensive line. She would also be the acceptable choice for the team’s captain. Although I worry that she might call the officials “old hags” if decisions go against her…
Right Back: Hazuki
Full-backs are traditionally considered “the enforcers” in the team. Their job is usually to keep the opposing wingers quiet while springing rapid counter-attacks whenever possible. STARS’ Hazuki would be perfect for this role. A highly respected High Speed champion with a mean streak to match, she could keep any potential opponent contained through her aggression, accurate timing, determination, and speediness. She might be prone to picking up a yellow or red card now and again. Still, her work-rate would make her adored by the supporters. AC Milan’s Davide Calabria could be considered a close comparison.
Defensive Midfield: Saya Iida
The defensive midfield role in football is often an unheralded position on the pitch. These types of players do the hard work to protect the defensive line and break up opposition attacks. It was a role that was initially described condescendingly as being “the water carrier” of the team. DMs are usually the tenacious style of player, traditionally shorter in stature but fierce in their commitment and productivity. Therefore, there is no one more ideal for the position than Saya Iida, arguably STARDOM’s most underrated wrestler. The smallest in the team, she has a tenacity and strength that is equaled by very few. She is also much adored by STARDOM fans, meaning the equally beloved and industrious N’Golo Kanté would be her perfect match-up.
Central Midfield: Syuri & Saori Anou
The central midfield for STARDOM XI would be the domain of the contrasting yet complimentary duo of Syuri and Saori Anou.
The God’s Eye leader would be the team’s box-to-box midfielder and the attacking driving force for the team. Whether on the defensive or offensive, Syuri would be critical to her side’s chances. Her leadership qualities could help organise her allies, while her focused attacks should be lethal to any side coming up against her. Her controlled aggression, intensity, and kicking ability would also make her perfect for the role. The Vermillion Steven Gerrard.
Saori Anou, meanwhile, would play the role of the languid yet mercurial creative midfielder. The type of maverick who would casually stroll around the pitch and ping balls into space in a nonchalant fashion. It was something that was on regular display within teams from the 1970s. The occasional crack in her composed persona would, much like in the ring, only further enhance that “maverick” tag and make her more beloved among fans. Think of Zinedine Zidane if he was in Cosmic Angels.
Left Forward: Tam Nakano
Every iconic team has a player who really splits the fanbase in two. Their skills and presentation stand out so much that people either adore them for their individuality or dislike them for the immense amount of exposure they get. Enter Tam Nakano, who would slot into a left forward role akin to that of Cristiano Ronaldo. Both people worked extremely hard to reach the pinnacle of their respective careers, even when they may have been overshadowed by someone else at times (Mayu Iwatani/Messi), and although they can be considered “marmitey” at times, there’s no denying their talent and uniqueness. In addition, their experience is a great benefit even if retirement is looming on the horizon for both.
Right Forward: Saya Kamitani
To complement Tam on the left side of the attack, there should be another fast attacker on the opposite flank. So who would be a better fit for that role than her rival and current Red Belt holder Saya Kamitani? Kamitani is someone you could trust to lead the line and provide that cutting-edge against any defence. Therefore, the former High Speed champ would be in a similar position to someone like Barcelona’s Ousmane Dembélé when he plays on the right. A highly technical athlete who may have struggled with bad injuries in the past, but is now flourishing in new surroundings and becoming one of the best in the world.
Centre Forward: Maika
At the pinnacle of the forward line, and as the focal point of the attack, it would be the EXV’s co-leader Maika. With modern teams employing a lone striker in their tactics, you need someone who can physically “mix it up” with defenders. They act as the first line of defence when pressing against a team – therefore the role requires someone who is a superb all-rounder. Maika could become the player who enacts the initial press, holds up the ball to allow players to join the attack, or just causes havoc in the penalty box. There are very few people who can outmuscle “The Empress”! Just like your traditional number 9 in 1980s English football, she’s also very partial to a beer refreshment post-match. Consequently, her low centre of gravity and strength could be matched to that of either Liverpool legend Kenny Dalglish or Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney.
ON THE SUBS BENCH
- Mayu Iwatani – The iconic superstar of the team can come off the bench every now and then and provide a world-class performance, although she may be looking for a transfer away soon.
- Rina – The great homegrown hope for the squad who vastly impressed in the youth divisions (Future division). She is now looking to progress to the seniors to make her mark.
- Natsuko Tora – A battering ram of a forward who could be used as a target woman for the attacks and cause havoc amongst defences. However concerns over the condition of her knees mean she starts on the subs bench.
- Momo Watanabe – Very close to taking one of the starting berths after a successful loan spell in America, she could be used as either an experienced centre-back or a highly combative central midfielder. Another successful product of the youth academy.
- Starlight Kid – Probably the club’s biggest shirt seller due to their social media presence and instantly identifiable style. Could provide a rapid spark down the flanks when required off the bench.
And, finally, here is the full squad !
What are your thoughts on The Ninety Fourth’s selections for a potential STARDOM XI? Are there other STARDOM wrestlers that you would select for your squad? Feel free to let us know via our social media channels. We would love to read your suggestions!
Stay tuned to the Five Star Network for all updates on the world of Japanese Pro Wrestling and more!